


Like the Tide

by Torpor



Category: Fire Emblem Heroes
Genre: F/M, Human/Monster Romance, Merman Zelgius, Rating May Change, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-06-29 15:47:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15732546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Torpor/pseuds/Torpor
Summary: After saving him from a fisherman's net, Evelyn finds herself quickly coming to adore her home's resident merman.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'd explain this but honestly I don't have an excuse. 
> 
> Chapter 8 of The Art of Being Happy is currently being edited, I'm going to try and get that up either later today or early Monday morning, so don't worry about that too much.

The sound of the waves rushing over the sand was soothing in its predictability. Life was at times so uncertain and terrifying that she could only look straight ahead and hope that the path she was on was correct, but the ocean had no doubts. It continued to roll back and forth, ever guided by the moon and her firm, but gentle hand. She longed to be like the ocean. Powerful and certain, guided and purposeful. She breathed deeply of the salty air, smiling as she heard the calls of seabirds in the distance. St. Germaine island was beautiful this time of year, or so she had been told. This was her first time setting foot here, but she could certainly feel the history in the air, its rocky cliffs and sandy beach straight out of folksongs.

Her path was a winding one as it lead her upward, her new home and charge beckoning her from atop the cliff: the lighthouse that she would now keep. Its last caretaker had died recently in his old age, and now it was her turn to keep its lamp lit and functional, no matter the weather. It perched on the highest outcrop of the northeast shore, where it stuck out into the bay like wedge through a log, the waves crashing across its white stone exterior during storms, but it would hold. It would hold far longer than she, and likely longer than the one who would take her place once she had spent her time here. She stopped just shy of the door, adjusting her pack as she peered up, her view blocked by the gallery deck. 

She was quite alone here. She’d been told that she would be, of course; an unmarried keeper was a lonely one, but the ferry ran to and from the island twice a week and would take her into town on the mainland. She was no prisoner here; she was not shackled to the lighthouse during the day, but it was only now with only the sound of the waves that her isolation truly struck her. Would her mother and sisters visit, as they said they would? St. Germaine was quite a trek from Lofferton, but she had faith that they would.

With a deep breath, she squared her shoulders and turned the doorknob, flicking on the lights as she closed the door. She’d expected it to be more creepy somehow, but she felt rather at ease. No violence had taken place here, this island was safe. She would live on the ground floor, where she had been provided every amenity she needed; the bathroom was small but functional and clean, her bedroom comfortably sized with a large window that peered out into the small herb garden behind the lighthouse, and the kitchen was well stocked. The place smelled a bit musty, but she could solve that by opening the windows.

‘The first night is always the hardest,’ is what she’d been told. She’d needed  to adjust her sleeping schedule to allow for her work, but she’d already taken steps to ensure that the transition was not as hard as it had been for others. She would be ready come sundown when it was time to light the lamp. She made her way up the winding stairs and into the maintenance bay, checking the mechanisms for any signs of damage, and upon seeing none, climbed further up into the lamp room itself. The view from atop the tower was breathtaking. She could see ships in the distance as they came and went, the smoke from their engines blowing white puffs into the air as it mingled with the clouds. The ocean’s dark expanse went on forever, further than her eyes could see. Lonely though she may get from time to time, she couldn’t deny that she was lucky to have such a beautiful view and steady job.

She had time yet before she would need to get to work. St. Germaine was not particularly large and the beach not far. She could go down and examine the tide pools and enjoy the rushing waves for a time in person before coming back to have her evening meal before work. It would be wrong of her to neglect her own curiosity, after all; the island was her home now, and one should know their home.

***

She enjoyed the feeling of the wet sand under her bare feet as she walked the length of the strand, making her way toward the old fishing dock she’d seen on her way in. It seemed a nice place to sit on calm days and enjoy the scenery, provided it had been well enough maintained; but as she grew near, she saw something lying on the beach nearby. Her first thought was that it was a large fish or perhaps a beached porpoise, but as she drew nearer it became clear that she was wrong on all counts. 

His tail was long, and a brilliant scarlet, the scales glittering dully in the early afternoon sun, but he was trapped in an old net, one arm pinned to his side as the fibers dug into his skin. She’d never seen a merperson so closely before, and never had she seen one of their men. They didn’t live this close to shore, usually; the vast depths were their home. She shook herself, putting her surprise aside as she rushed to his side, patting her belt for her knife. He needed help, and it seemed that he had little time, if she weren’t too late already.

“Hello?” She called, keeping her voice even and gentle as she knelt a short distance away. His head jerked up, his eyes unfocused in his exhaustion. He’d likely struggled with that net until his strength was spent and stranded himself in the process. “I’m gonna cut the net away from you, okay? Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you.”

“You needn’t blunt your tool, human. I am beyond help.” His voice was raspy, likely from being out of the water for so long, but he seemed to be breathing fine. She knew that the merfolk could breathe well above water, but she wasn’t sure for how long.

“Oh come on now. Don’t give up so easily, let me get you out of this net and we’ll get you into the surf so you can rest. Will you let me help you?” He was silent a moment, wheezing quietly as he shifted in the sand. 

“Why would you do such a thing?” 

“Because you need help and I can’t let you die without trying to give it. Please? Let’s just try.” Her pleas seemed to reach him for he nodded, and went still as she reached for the net, slicing the first bit away to free his arm. It had twisted around him tightly enough to cut and bruise, leaving his pale skin raw. She wished she’d found him sooner. She worked quickly, cutting away the net as gently as possible, her eyes trained on her task until she managed to cut him loose. “There we go. You’re free now, you should try to move towards the water.”

“I… I’m tired.” She didn’t doubt that. She had no doubt that being trapped in some careless fisherman’s trash had exhausted him, but there was so much life left in him. He just needed a little more help. Dragging him was out of the question. She knew he was likely too heavy and could cause him more harm, but perhaps if she could bring the water to him, it would help. 

“Hold on a second. I’ll be back, okay?” He didn’t answer or bother watching as she scurried toward the dock, praying that perhaps there was something she could use. She smiled as she saw a bucket hanging on a hook on one of the piles, empty save for some rogue sand. It was deep and would carry quite a bit of water. She knew that people who helped beached whales and dolphins would pour seawater over them as they worked to get them back out to the water, so perhaps it would work for a tired merman as well. It was heavy, but not so much so that she couldn’t carry it such a short way. She didn’t wait to warn him or even bother telling him what she intended as she poured the full amount out over his body, from neck to tail.

“Wha-? What in the goddess’ name are you doing, woman?” He asked, his head once again jerking up to look at her. 

“Isn’t that obvious? I’m trying to help you. If you’re too tired to go to the ocean, then I’ll bring the ocean to you.” She ignored his incredulous expression as she darted away to refill her bucket, glancing at her watch as she did so. She still had three hours, surely that would be enough time. She would keep going until she truly could not anymore. He had shifted onto his back by the time she returned, looking up at the blue sky thoughtfully as she dumped the contents of the bucket over him. “Is this helping? You look a little livelier.” His scales were brighter now, their shine returning as his body accepted the much needed moisture.

“Yes, it is helping. A little more and I may be able to make it… you… have my thanks. You didn’t have to help me.” Something in his tone told her he truly believed that. Did the merfolk abandon their kin when they were in distress like this? Surely not. She’d always heard that they would save drowning swimmers and drive away sharks. She couldn’t believe that a people that would go out of their way to help strangers in need would ignore one of their own. Had he simply gotten lost in a storm and accidentally strayed too close to shore?

After she’d finished dumping the fifth bucket of water over him, he forced himself onto his belly and began to claw and flop his way towards the waves, pausing to rest from time to time which would then earn him another bucketful of water. His every move was laborious, but when he entered the surf and slipped into the water at last, she couldn’t contain her joyful shout as he dove under, clearly just as pleased to be back where he belonged as she was to see it. Her efforts hadn’t been in vain, and that was enough thanks for  her. 

He reemerged at the end of the dock, folding his arms on the rough planks, his head resting on his hands. She joined him there, allowing her feet to dangle in the water as they sat in a comfortable silence, with only the sound of the tide and his steady breathing to fill the void. 

“How’re you feeling, hon?” She asked. 

“I suspect I shall be fine now, I merely need to rest for a while; thank you. I cannot repay this kindness, but I will try.” His voice was much clearer now, his skin much brighter and less papery, his scales shining brilliantly even under the water, his fins fanning elegantly in the current. He was an exceedingly handsome man, with his strong jawline and angular features, but it was his gentle, grateful smile that she found to be the most lovely. 

“Aw, you don’t owe me anything. I did what any decent person would do. You needed help, so I gave it, and I’d do it again.” 

“You say that, and yet you do not realize how difficult a feat that was. Many of my kin die that way, I was content enough to know that I would not face it alone.” She got the sense that it meant a great deal to him that he wouldn’t have spent the last of his moments alone, but she wouldn’t press him. He was tired, and they had only just met. Perhaps, if she saw him often enough, and they became friends, she could ask him then.

“Well, if you say so. All I did was dump water on you until you hauled yourself down the beach. You did all the hard work.” She said, glancing once again at her watch. It hadn’t taken as long to get him moving as she’d feared. She still had some time to enjoy his company. “So, what’re you doing so close to shore anyhow? I thought your kind preferred the open ocean.” 

“We do, usually. I… live here.” That surprised her. Mermaids were far more social than their men, and were the ones most people saw. Were the men more solitary than she’d thought?

“It isn’t dangerous for you? I mean… you just got tangled up in a net, after all. People ain’t always good at thinking beyond themselves.” He hummed in agreement, meeting her eyes for the first time since they’d met. They were a beautiful emerald green that complimented his dark, indigo hair and scarlet scales perfectly. 

“I am safer here than nearly anywhere else.There is plenty of food, and the company seems to be quite pleasant. Tell me… what is your name? I cannot simply call you ‘woman’ all the time.”

“Evelyn. And you?”

“I am Zelgius. It’s lovely to meet you Evelyn, might I ask why you are here?” She gestured up the path towards the lighthouse, the glass lamp room all that was visible over the rocky outcrops behind her.

“I tend the lighthouse now.”

“I see… what happened to Giles?” He asked, pushing himself up to look over her shoulder. “I’ve not seen him in quite some time.”

“Giles… has passed on.” She saw his face fall in a brief moment of sadness, as he glanced at the bucket sitting beside her on the dock.

“I see… that’s a shame. He was a good man… he used to sit here every morning after he snuffed the lamp, puffing on his pipe. I grew fond of him, we talked often. He usually told the same few stories over and over, but I didn’t mind. He was fond of shells, so from time to time I’d bring him ones I thought he’d like; though I never quite understood why. It’s what lives in them that matters.”

“I think he just liked that you cared enough to think about him. This can be a lonely job, so having little reminders that someone was thinking of him probably made him happy.” Zelgius chuckled sadly, once again resting his head on his hands.

“I suppose so. Will you be here long?”

“It’s usually a lifelong post, so yeah. I’m gonna be here.” Zelgius nodded, a hopeful look in his eyes. 

“Then… perhaps we could continue to talk? I too am quite alone here… I would be grateful if I could see you again. I realize that I ask a lot… you’ve already given me so much.” 

“I’d like that.” She checked her watch, her heart sinking as she realized that her time with her new friend was drawing to a close. She would need to head back soon if she wanted to eat before it grew dark. “I’ll see you again tomorrow… we’ll have more time then, since you shouldn’t be tangled up.” He smiled, seeming to understand that their time together was over for now. 

“Yes… when you wish to see me, you need only drop a rock into the water. I can hear quite a distance.” He pushed away as she rose to her feet, hanging the bucket back on its hook. 

“I’ll do that, then. Take care of yourself, hon. I’ll see you tomorrow after I wake up.” He nodded and slipped below the surface of the water, his fins the last thing she saw of him before she turned away to make the climb back up. Her mind was reeling from their encounter, but she couldn’t help but feel happy and incredibly satisfied. She’d done a good deed, met an incredible person, and; she hoped, made a new friend all in one fell swoop. Now if she could only finish strong by having a good supper and doing her job well, she could truly say that this was the best day she’d had in a very long time.

***

She watched as the beam of light flashed out into the night, illuminating the rocky crags below the lighthouse in its constancy, sipping her coffee as she waited. She could see the silhouettes of ships in the distance, the moon’s bright light all that made seeing possible at all. Where was Zelgius at this hour? Did he sleep somewhere in the bay, or was he hunting? She found herself already longing to speak with him again. He was so different from anyone else she’d ever known, and his voice was so pleasant to listen to. She hoped to be hearing it for years to come; it would make her time here alone more bearable. 

She yawned and shook her head, moving from her place by the door to check on the lamp. She was tired, but it wouldn’t be long now. She would be able to start lowering the flame within the next two hours, slowly cooling the glass to ensure the lense didn’t crack. In the meantime, she would need to remain active to keep herself from falling asleep. 

***

She made her way down the beach, coffee in hand. The weather was just as lovely as it had been the day before, the sun just as bright. She stooped to pick up a rock nearby, weighing it in her palm before walking out onto the dock and dropping it off the edge. She waited and watched the water for signs of company. Splashing from nearby drew her attention further out. She smiled as she saw a flash of scarlet among the waves and took a seat, waiting patiently for him to join her, as had been their custom every day since the first.

“Good day, Evelyn.” Zelgius said, folding his arms on the wooden planks. 

“Well hey there, honey. How’s your day been?” 

“Well enough, better now. I’m glad you came, I wanted to thank you again.” He smiled up at her, his sharp teeth on display for the first time since they’d met. Perhaps she should have been intimidated by them, but really they suited him. They resembled a human’s teeth in size, but were sharp rather than blunt and for a brief moment she wondered how they would feel against her skin. She shook herself and forced the thought away, refocusing on Zelgius’ words instead.

“You don’t need to keep thanking me, honey. I helped because it was the right thing to do, so don’t trouble yourself over it.” He pushed himself up, his gaze level with hers. 

“Thank you, Evelyn. You say that I owe you nothing, but I disagree. Thank you for saving my life, and for agreeing to see me again. Your kind have good cause to mistrust us, and yet you are not afraid. That means… more than you know.” 

“Well it ain’t like we’ve always been good to y’all.” She said, shrugging slightly as he lowered himself back into the water. His nearness had set her heart to pounding, though not for any reason he might expect. There was something so captivating about him, she couldn’t help but be a little bit thrilled every time he came close. 

“True enough. How  was work? Are you tired?” 

“Nah, I got plenty of sleep after I snuffed the lamp. It was a little dull, but nothing bad happened, so that’s all I can really ask for.” He nodded in understanding, stretching his arms out in front of him before pillowing his head upon them. “You look tired, hon. Are you okay?”

“Hm? Oh, yes I’m fine. I had a restless night, is all.”

“So you  _ do _ sleep at night. I was wondering about that.” She said. 

“Yes, there’s a small cave nearby that I sleep in; it’s not exactly what my kind consider the height of comfort, but it works well enough.” 

“There’s something I’m curious about if you don’t mind answering a question.”

“I’ll answer if I can.” He said, stifling a yawn.

“Why are you out here all by yourself? I’ve heard that merfolk have cities not too unlike humans do, wouldn’t you be safer there?” She asked, watching his expression carefully as she spoke. He seemed uncomfortable, but not too much so.

“I… it is best for me if I do not mingle. I am safer here than I could ever be outside… please don’t worry for me. I will be quite fine here, I swear it.” She didn’t quite understand how someone could be truly better off alone, but he didn’t seem comfortable talking about that further, so she would drop it for the time being. They could always revisit the topic after they knew one another better.

“Okay… if you say so, honey.” They fell silent for a time, simply enjoying each other’s company and the sound of the waves lapping at the shore. She hadn’t expected to enjoy herself so much when she’d agreed to take over this remote little post, but she was happy she did. “Say… how’s the water today?” She asked. It felt warm enough, but she had no idea how deep it ran or how the currents were off the shore.

“Are you thinking of getting in?” He asked, his tone surprised.

“Yeah, maybe if the water’s good for it today.” He hummed, seemingly thinking on it for a moment before smiling at her. 

“The water is quite nice today. It is warm and calm, I believe you’ll enjoy it, should you choose to.” Evelyn nodded and rose to her feet, stripping off her shirt and pants. She ignored his stammering in favor of folding the articles and placing them towards the center of the dock to keep them dry before doing the same with her underwear. “W-well… I didn’t uh… I can’t say I expected such boldness.” 

“Well, I don’t want my clothes to get wet. I honestly didn’t expect you to really care about a naked human.” She shrugged and made her way towards the edge, looking down into the water for only a moment before jumping in, popping up beside him. 

“It doesn’t bother me, if that concerns you… I suppose I just didn’t expect it not to bother you.” He shrugged, but remained nearby; so close in fact that she could easily touch him if she were of a mind.

“Why would it bother me? I’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.”

“My being a man doesn’t trouble you?” He asked, tilting his head slightly. 

“Should it? You don’t strike me as the kind to take what doesn’t belong to you.”

“And again you trust me… you truly are unlike any human I’ve ever met, Evelyn. Even Giles was wary of me at first, and yet you trust me so easily… I’m flattered, really. It’s… nice.” Evelyn laughed lightly and allowed herself to drift onto her back, floating atop the water comfortably, disturbed only by the gentle lapping of the water as it was moved about by his tail. 

“Hey Zelgius?” 

“Yes?” 

“How long have you lived here?” She asked, watching a gull as it flew over the bay.

“I… fear I’ve lost track of time, but it’s been several years now. If I had to hazard a guess, probably around ten years. Maybe a little more or less.”

“That’s a long time to be alone. You don’t have  _ anyone _ ? No wife or kids?” Evelyn asked, trying to keep her incredulity to a minimum. Zelgius laughed awkwardly, rubbing absently at the back of his neck.

“No… I’ve never… no. I’ve never had that kind of relationship, not even in passing.” Evelyn righted herself and met his gaze with a surprised one of her own as she surveyed his handsome face.

“You’re kidding.”

“Why… would I joke about something like that?” He asked.

“Sorry, I just… I’m surprised is all. I thought you’d have girls crawling all over you, looking the way you do.” 

“I’m not quite sure what you mean. There’s nothing special about the way I look, and… it would be difficult for me to have any family here, wouldn’t it?”

“I reckon so. Not sure I agree with you, though. I think you’re a damn fine looking man.” Zelgius looked away, his bashful gaze directed to the water’s surface, though she didn’t miss the small smile playing at his lips.

“I.... thank you. You’re quite lovely yourself.” They fell silent a moment, considering their next words carefully. She hadn’t meant to flirt, all evidence to the contrary; but the longer she spent with him, the more she liked him, but she didn’t want to go too far too fast. She wanted to start small.

“Zelgius? What does your skin feel like?” Why not start there? She’d been careful not to touch him when she was untangling him for fear of it stressing him out too much, but she was curious. He looked human from the waist up, but that didn’t make him so.

“Are you… asking permission to touch me?” She nodded, meeting his gaze steadily. “I’m unaccustomed to being touched… but, I trust you not to harm me.” He said, reaching out towards her, his hand hesitating just shy of her fingertips before closing the gap, his eyes closing as her fingers ghosted over the large scar on his forearm. 

“Hmmm… I was expecting you to be cold, but you’re really warm. You feel like… a slightly warmer, smoother human.” She watched his face carefully, watching for any signs of discomfort.

“You feel nice,” He said, his other hand running gently up her arm. “You’re very soft.” She hummed, her fingers tracing over another scar, further up his arm, her brows pinching together as she catalogued them. His skin was littered with them, as though claws and teeth had torn into him many times over, though they were well healed and pale now.

“What happened? I’ve wanted to ask, but I didn’t think you’d tell me.” 

“It is why I’m safer here…” She took in the scar at his side, a wound likely left by a pronged weapon. It was clear to her that he had enemies outside of this little bay, enemies that had hurt him time and again.

“I’m so sorry… I wish I could protect you.” She said. She knew it was foolish, he was so much stronger than she was; how could she hope to protect him if he’d been unable to fully defend himself?

“You’re kinder than I deserve.” He came closer, his fins brushing her bare legs as he bobbed nearby. “Can you stay a little longer? I… don’t want to say goodbye just yet.” She smiled, glancing up at the sun. She had plenty of time still, though she’d likely end up sunburned by the time she left him, unless she got out of the water and got dressed again; and she wasn’t ready to do that yet, either.

“I can stay. It’s still really early.”

“Are you certain? I… don’t wish to be selfish. I know that you’ve likely got things to do before you must do your duty.” He said. Evelyn remained still as he came closer still, his hand finding hers in a shy bid for contact. He’d been so lonely for so long. She smiled and squeezed his fingers; she wouldn’t let him be lonely anymore.

“I’m sure. I don’t want to say goodbye, either.” She allowed her free hand to trail gently over his cheek, noting the texture of his skin and the way his breath seemed to catch in his throat. He was warm and real under her hand, and that was more than she could say for so many others in her life. She sighed happily as his hand covered hers, his eyes sliding shut as a soft smile bloomed over his handsome face. It struck her then that she was happy there with him, and comfortable in a way she’d never been. She didn’t feel the need to impress him or pretend to be someone she wasn’t. He had already accepted her for who she was. 

“Be careful, Evelyn… treating me in such a way could prove problematic.” His tone was hushed, his eyes still closed as he leaned into her touch.

“Why’s that?” 

“I may become used to it.” He seemed to think that she wouldn’t indulge him whenever that time came, but he was wrong; she would give him as much or as little as he wanted. 

“Let me know when you do.” She became acutely aware of how close they were now, their chests nearly touching, his tail brushing her legs every time he moved. 

“You shouldn’t encourage it. I am undeserving of your time… I should go. I’ve taken enough of your day.”

“But--”

“I shall see you again later, Evelyn.” He was gone before she could say anything else, his fins disappearing beneath the waves. She suddenly felt very lonely there, left with only the mournful call of a bird in the distance and the sound of the ocean; but more than that, she felt guilty. She hadn’t gotten a chance to apologize or assure him that he wasn’t wasting her time. She wanted to spend time with him, and she missed him when he was gone. Though it had only been a month, she felt a genuine affection for him. She only hoped that he would give her a chance to tell him next time they spoke.

***

The light grew dim the deeper he went, his eyes adjusting to the darkness as he made his way to his home. He missed her fiercely as he entered the cave, looking around the empty cavern. In the time he’d known her, things that once hadn’t bothered him at all suddenly made him feel terrible. He hated how dark and empty his home was, and how lonely he became when her voice no longer filled the silence. Giles had never made him feel this way. He liked the old man, but never missed him.

Evelyn had awakened something within him that he was unfamiliar with. He longed for her company, her touch, her smile. She made him feel wanted and happy, which was not allowed for something like him. Ever since he grew strong enough to fight the current, he’d been shunned and pushed further and further out of his native waters, and he’d been alone. It was how it was for all members of his caste. They were seen as nothing but trash, the first to die in turf wars, and the last to eat. A man like him could never hope to find a wife or raise a family. No woman would accept him for fear of the fate of both herself and the child; and he would never wish such a pitiable existence on another.

Even if Evelyn could look past what he was and see him as only Zelgius, how could they have more than they did? He had nothing to offer her, and it would be impossible for them to be together. They would always have to part ways, and he would never dream of trying to make things work in a more physical manner. They were simply too different. He huffed and shook his head, trying to force his mind away from her. He knew that he should leave and find another place to wait out his life, but he was weak. He would think of her and miss her. These confusing, awful feelings were stronger than he would ever be. He would come to see her day after day, and miss her at night. He would watch as she went about her life, as she bonded with another and had children of her own, and he would never be the one she slept beside. It was best to accept such truths now, rather than delude himself into thinking that there was anything for him anywhere. 

He allowed himself to sink to the ocean floor, the sand kicked up by his movements raining down onto his face and chest. It had felt so wonderful to be touched with care. How long had it been since someone had been gentle? Had he ever been touched in such a way? All he could remember was the feeling of claws, teeth, and metal. He knew he shouldn’t allow her to touch him again, but it was all that he wanted. Every part of his body demanded that she trail her fingers over it, even parts that he’d thought he’d long since managed to silence. He would need to do something to burn off his frustration, but for the time being, he could afford to simply think about her and wonder.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evelyn and Zelgius have an important conversation and he tries to find hope in what feels like a hopeless situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been months since I uploaded this and I'm sorry about that. I'm struggling with writer's block right now, so I kind of dug through my drafts and found this so I could avoid the disaster that is chapter 15.

The waves battered the stone walls and splattered against the glass. Evelyn peered into the darkness, watching the turbulent, roiling ocean and the flashing lightning. Thunder rumbled menacingly, the sound dangerously close in the lamp room. With the sea tossing so violently, it was concerning to think that there could be any ship out on it, but she knew that it was more than possible. The squall had been fairly sudden, and that meant sailors out at sea had been caught off guard. She clutched her coffee cup as a wave crashed upon the windows, sighing gratefully as the glass held.

Where was Zelgius now? She hadn’t seen him in three days, not since their last talk. Her heart ached at the thought that she would never get to talk to him again. She’d been too eager and it had scared him away. She bit her lip and shook her head, checking on the lamp. Now wasn’t the time to think about him. He was probably fine, wherever he was. He was strong and adapted to his life under the waves. She would go down to the dock, just as she did every day and hope that he would come when she called for him. She wanted to apologize to him. For now, she needed to focus on her task.

She closed her eyes as the tower seemed to groan under the ocean’s assault. If she were more prone to panic, she may have abandoned her post and hid in the lower levels, but there was nowhere to go, even if she were to have a good reason. After weeks of being there, the island had lost its mystique. She was finally starting to feel her isolation. If he didn’t come to the dock, she would go into town and wander around for a little while. It would be better than just sitting alone at the dock until it was time to eat as she had the past few days. She couldn’t wallow forever, after all. Life was too short to waste it waiting on a man, no matter who he was.

***

She picked her way down the beach, weighing the stone in her palm as she went. What if she threw herself in instead? Would he come to investigate? She chided herself for considering such a thing. If he wanted to stay away, that was his right, and she couldn’t force him to speak with her. Besides, the dock jutted into the depths. She was a good swimmer, but even a good swimmer was at the mercy of the tide. What would be a bid for attention could turn into a dangerous situation quickly, and if he weren’t nearby, it could prove fatal as well. She made her way to the edge and allowed the stone to fall from her hand, taking her seat. She would wait for a few minutes before deciding what to do next.

She combed the waves, her eyes straining to catch a glimpse of crimson among them, but as the moments went by, it became clear to her that he wouldn’t come today, either. She sipped her coffee without really tasting it. At this point, she’d give almost anything just to tell him she was sorry. If she got to say nothing else, she wanted to say that. With a heavy heart, she pushed herself to her feet, fighting back tears as she began to make her way back up the dock. Just as she was about to step off the wood and onto the sand, she heard a familiar splash and turned to see him as he folded his arms against the wood. Relief swept through her and she hustled towards him, already prepared to hurl herself into an apology; but as she came closer, she realized how pale and tired he looked.

“Zelgius?” He looked up at her as she once again took her seat, blinking sluggishly. “Are you okay, honey?”

“I will be. Forgive my long absence, I… haven’t been strong enough to make it up to the surface for a few days.”

“What’s wrong? Are you sick?” Her hand reached out to touch his forehead but pulled away quickly. He probably didn’t want to be touched.

“No, nothing like that. I…” he sighed and looked down sheepishly, debating on how to tell her, “one of my kin stumbled upon me three nights ago. We had a heated disagreement.” He was being coy, but the truth was in the way he was behaving. They’d had a fight and it looked like he’d not come out entirely unscathed.

“Are you okay? Will they tell anyone where you are?” She asked, panic rising in her. What could she do to protect him if that were the case? She didn’t want to see him hurt anymore. She cared about him. Zelgius’ sardonic chuckle startled her.

“No, no. He won’t be saying a word to anyone. I ensured that.” Evelyn relaxed, understanding his meaning without needing to have it spelled out. If he needed to kill to protect himself, then so be it. They didn’t seem to have any problems with hurting him, after all.

“Okay, that’s… good. Um… can I see it?” She wanted to see his wound for herself. If she deemed it too deep, she would administer any aid she could. She’d been trained to administer basic emergency aid before taking this post. She knew how to suture and properly clean injuries.

“Certainly.” He allowed himself to fall back into the water, floating on his back to let her get a good look at him. Her eyes locked onto the injury quickly, assessing it with a critical eye. The angry, red flesh surrounded a sizable scab near his pelvis, but it looked to be healing well. Regardless, she wanted to see it closer.

“Is it safe to get in? I need to see it better; I don’t want it to go untreated if it’s getting infected.”

“The currents are strong today. It will probably storm again soon. I can come up there for you.” He righted himself and placed his hands upon the wooden dock, heaving himself from the water.

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to get all dried out again.” Zelgius chuckled and eased himself down onto his back beside her, his warm body pressing against her hip.

“I’ll be fine. It was only a problem that day because I’d been out of the water for so long. We come out for many reasons, you know?” He murmured, watching her as she leaned over him.

“Can I touch you?”

“Of course. Do what you must.” She took his invitation to heart and scrutinized his wound, gently feeling around it. It felt to be around the same temperature as the rest of him, which was good. She pressed gently against the wound to ensure that no pus leaked out. He hissed, but didn’t pull away.

“It looks okay. I don’t think you have an infection, but I’d like to keep an eye on it if you don’t mind,” she said. Zelgius nodded, finally pushing himself up. As he sat beside her, she became aware of just how large he was. His tail added several extra feet to him, but he towered over her even sitting down. She worried her lip and looked down at her lap, her guilt settling back into her stomach after the excitement of seeing him again had died down. “I’m sorry.”

“Whatever for?” He sounded surprised, though she didn’t understand why. Hadn’t he been upset?

“Last time we saw each other, I… made you really uncomfortable. I’m really sorry; I didn’t mean to.”

“Evelyn…” his hand closed around hers, leaning into her slightly. “I… wasn’t uncomfortable. If anything, I longed to stay. I had never been touched like that before and… I suppose I was afraid.” He squeezed her hand before pressing it against his face. “I like this. Very much.” His eyes slipped closed, leaning into her more firmly. He leaned down to press his forehead against hers, his eyes still closed in contentment. He smelled like the sea and warm, fresh air; not unlike how her grandfather used to smell after coming in from long days on the water, hauling in nets. It was a nostalgic smell that she found herself liking quite a lot.

“If you like it… do you want me to keep going?”

“I do,” he murmured, his free hand trailing over her knee before pulling away, his expression dazed. “There’s something I feel I should tell you first, though.”

“I’m listening, honey.” She watched as he gathered his thoughts, allowing her thumb to trace over his knuckles, her eyes trailing over his body. His hip bones jutted out in a pleasing manner, his human torso transitioning seamlessly into his long, beautiful tail just below his hips. Upon closer examination of his body, she could see a slit just below the junction of his tail and torso, and its location quickly alerted her to its function. She forced her gaze back up to his face, her cheeks blazing. He had something important to tell her, she needed to keep her mind on that, rather than consider what he was packing.

“You must wonder why I say I am safer out here. It’s… because I am… what my people call branded. We are the lowest caste in our society, considered trash. I have been told all my life that I am unworthy of anything other than death. No child born to branded parents could ever be anything other than branded, so normally, we are abandoned as calves. It's a kindness, really; better to die as a baby than live alone as an adult. None would ever have me, I would bring only misfortune,” Zelgius said. Evelyn worried her lip and found his hand, minding the thin membrane between his fingers.

“Well I wouldn’t say no one…” She murmured, allowing her head to rest against his shoulder.

“Evelyn…?.”

“I like you. I don’t know what you’ve been through, but… I know enough to know a good man when I meet one.” It felt good to say it. He deserved to hear it. He deserved to feel appreciated.

“I don’t feel as though I deserve to hear that. I’ve done terrible things to my own kind to survive. I’ve killed more than just the one.”

“They wouldn’t hesitate to hurt you, so…? I don’t think that I’m in any position to judge you for it.” Evelyn shrugged, bringing his knuckles to her lips. Zelgius’ cheeks blazed a bright pink, but his gaze never shifted from her.

“That means more than you could know.” He joined their hands as best as he could, but the limitations imposed by his own anatomy made him frown. What was he doing? How could this even work between them? Was there even anything to  _ make _ work?

“You okay?” Her fingers trailed over his cheek and he forced himself to once again meet her eyes as he leaned instinctively into her touch. 

“I am. I just… Evelyn… I’ve never--”

“You don’t need to worry about it so much, you know? We can figure things out as we go. Is that what you’re worried about?” She asked, her thumb tracing over the back of his hand. He nodded, ducking his head in embarrassment.

“I… we’re so different. I’m stuck here, you are stuck there. We will always have to part ways.” Saying the words aloud made it feel all the more hopeless. He found someone who would accept him, despite being trash… yet they could never truly be together, could they? She couldn’t breathe under water, and he could hardly remain on land… and eventually, he’d be found here. If he were lucky, he’d manage to survive again. If not… he only hoped his corpse floated to the bottom of the bay and that she didn’t have to find what was left of him washed up on shore. “I’m sorry… I’m being selfish, aren’t I?” He’d been so lonely for so long and she made that void smaller. He jolted as he felt her hands cupping his face, her soft lips brushing carefully over his cheek.

“If you’re selfish, then I guess I am too. If we’re both being selfish, then is it really that bad?” She asked, pressing her forehead against his. “Do you  _ want _ it to work?”

“I…” he did. He wanted her to come to know him in ways no one else had ever bothered to, and he wanted to do the same for her. “I want to, but… I know I shouldn’t. I know that you deserve someone that is… more like you. No matter how much I wish for it, I will never be able to sleep beside you, we will never have more than this.” How long would this be enough? He couldn’t take it if she grew tired of him and moved on to another, not after so long of being alone.

“Hey… you’re assuming a lot by saying we couldn’t have more, you know?” Her tone was playful, but there was a hint of firmness in it. “We ain’t  _ that _ different.”

“How do you mean?” He frowned, taking a moment to study her. She lacked sharp teeth and claws, she was small and delicate, her skin was thin and easily bruised or broken. He would be able to hurt her easily without meaning to. How did he even touch her? Had he been too rough this whole time? How did one touch another with appropriate tenderness?

“Well…” she rose up onto her knees once more, wrapping her arms around his neck. She was so  _ close _ … what would it feel like to be closer still? “This part is pretty familiar.” She trailed her hands through his hair, earning her a soft purr of delight from him as her nails scratched across his scalp. “As for the rest of you… I think I can probably figure you out. Different ain’t always a bad thing.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said, chewing on his lip.

“Then be gentle.You’ve been pretty good about that so far,” she said. Zelgius sighed, shaking his head as a small smile crept onto his face. Maybe he was overthinking things. Maybe he just… needed to let things go for now and let her give him what she felt he deserved. If she felt that she could stand him, maybe he should trust her. He was still afraid that she would grow tired of their limitations, but… he was weak and selfish. If she would give him the affection he’d pined after for so long, then… he’d be a fool to turn her down.

“Okay. Then let’s see where it takes us. But, before we go any further, will you promise me something?”

“I can try,” she said.

“If… if I ever go missing, promise me that you will not mourn me. Move on and… forget me.” 

“I could never do that, sugar. If you went missing, then I’d want to know if you were alive or not. I’d cry and I’d miss you every day. I care about you,” she said, tucking her face against his neck.

“Then… I guess I’d better make certain that nothing happens to me.” How could he? He’d been lucky thus far, but he knew he was never truly safe, even here. His  _ visitor _ wasn’t the first and wouldn’t be the last. Was there a way that he  _ could _ reasonably ensure he wouldn’t make her cry? He never wanted to make her sad, though he couldn’t quite see how his life or death could possibly affect her… but she said it would. She was the first person who said she  would mourn him, and so he needed to find a way to ensure she didn’t need to.

“You’re damn right you better.” She embraced him so easily, unflinching and unashamed. If she were a woman of the sea, she would be repulsed by him, but she didn’t seem to care that he was born to trash and would always be trash, fit only to serve as a slave or die, and he adored her for it.

“May I touch you?” He asked, his fingers flexing with the thought of feeling her soft skin under them again.

“Sure, go right ahead.” He took a deep breath and cautiously placed his hand upon her back, frowning at the feeling of the fabric covering her skin. He didn’t dislike it necessarily, but it wasn’t quite what he wanted. She’d so shamelessly bared herself to him before, but things felt very different between them now. He needed to proceed with as much caution as he could muster.

“I… I’d like to touch your skin… is that okay?” She giggled at his uncertainty and pushed back, a wry smile twisting her pretty lips. She took his hand in hers and pressed it against her cheek, closing her eyes happily as she did so. She was just as soft and warm as she had been that day, but it was better now. Now this touch could mean something. It wasn’t just curiosity, it was… affection? Was he doing it right? He’d never known affection, so he couldn’t say.

“Are you still doing okay? Do you need to get back into the water?” She asked, skimming her nose against the inside of his wrist. He  _ was _ starting to feel a little dry. Perhaps a quick swim wouldn’t be a bad idea.

“... I probably should. I don’t… want to. I wish I could stay with you.” He mumbled. He knew he sounded like a petulant child, but he’d wanted this so badly. Her every touch sent chills through him, leaving him feeling pleasantly lightheaded and heavy limbed.

“I’ll need to be going soon, too. I gotta eat some time today.” There was a note of sorrow in her voice. She felt their separation as much as he, but… she was right. She had a duty to perform and she needed to care for herself.

“Then… I shall leave you to it. I don’t want to keep you. Will I… see you tomorrow?”

“Of course! I’m already looking forward to seeing you,” she teased, once again cupping his cheek. “Be careful while I’m gone, okay?”

“I shall do my utmost. I… I shall miss you.” He felt his face flush but didn’t look away as she leaned in, brushing her lips against his forehead. His eyes fell closed, his breath hitching. The gesture was so intimate and tender that he couldn’t help but feel giddy.

“I’ll miss you, too. I’ll see you tomorrow, Darlin’.”

“Yes… and… have a good night, and sleep well. I… um…” he cleared his throat, glancing out at the water briefly before darting in to return her gesture. He was clumsy and awkward, unsure what the gesture meant or whether he was doing it right, but… he wanted to do it. It felt like it was something he was supposed to do, “goodnight, Evelyn.” Carefully, he pushed himself back into the water, his skin and scales grateful for the moisture, even as his heart sank. She stood, a smile still on her face as she took a step backwards away from the edge.

“Goodnight, Zelgius. Sleep tight.”

He waited until she disappeared from view before slipping down beneath the waves, heart heavy as he already began to miss her. He knew this was foolishness. He knew that every day saying goodnight would get harder, and that… when winter came and the days grew short, they may not have much time to see one another. It may become too cold for her to be near the water. Storms would keep them apart. Everything about this was stupid, but… it didn’t change how he felt. He’d known her for only a short time, but already he adored her. Even if this was all they ever had… he would find a way to make it enough for him. She cared for him. She missed him when they were apart. She looked forward to seeing him. For now, that was enough to make him happy. For now, he would just enjoy what he had. Maybe, there was a solution to their problem somewhere in the wide world. That hope would have to be enough for the time being.


End file.
